I'm ranting a little bit....

My marriage isn't perfect.  I've never claimed it was.  We are going through a particularly hard season right now, and I'm praying it's not a season like a Texas summer (5/6th of the year long and dryer than morning snot).  I realize that the curse of man makes my desire for my husband but he will rule over me.  People keep pointing me to Ephesians 5.  Ok.  I've read it.  I've prayed over it.  I've STUDIED it.  Here's the thing....

1. Submission is mutual: Ephesians 5:21 says we should submit to each other in the fear of God. This is a dual command, and should be practiced among Christians regardless of marriage relationship.

2. Wifely Submission is Commanded: Eph. 5:22-23 says women should submit to their husbands AS they submit to the Lord. If a woman is not submissive to her husband, probably she needs to be held accountable by other women or married couples to her submission to the Lord. If we (as women) believe we are "entitled to be obeyed", we probably aren't submitting to the Lord as He has commanded. Find yourself an accountability partner and GET IN PRAYER. GET IN THE WORD. Get with JESUS.

3. Feelings do matter, but they CAN'T rule: I think (and you know my struggles personally) that many women FEEL (and that can be a dangerous word) loved when their husbands say he will do X and then does, or when shes asked him to do x and then he does. It isn't so much about being "obeyed", its about feeling loved. Ephesians 5 goes on to tell husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This is an agape love. This is sacrificial love. Its sacrificing time, energy, money...but mostly SELF. Jesus gave HIMSELF, and trust me, he wasn't comfortable. If you aren't comfortable loving your wife the way she needs to be love, CHECK YOURSELF. Women, if you husband is bending over backwards to meet your needs, NOTICE IT. Maybe you need to decrease so your marriage can increase (John 3:30)?

4. Men aren't Large and In Charge: Men (and this is a VERY BIG GENERALIZATION) in the Christian Church, and in general, have stopped being Christian leaders in their home. God gives a hierarchy which has been sorely upset in our culture (1st Cor 11:3). God intends man to submit to the God Head, then the wife to submit to the husband and God, then children and employees to follow. When there is no spiritual leader in the home because the husband does not submit himself to the God Head, there is an incorrect hierarchy.

5. We're not Nagging. For real: I'm really tired of men saying women nag. Read Proverbs. Unless you're ready to move to the attic, or you'd rather undergo Chinese Water Torture than listen to your wife, she's probably not "nagging". There is an underlying idea that women who ask their husband to do something more than once, or in a certain way, or has EXPECTATIONS for her husband is a nag. God calls us to be ACCOUNTABLE to each other in marriage. Iron on Iron as my husband should be my best friend. When I ask something of my husband, I'm not asking him to OBEY, I'm asking him to be accountable as my spiritual leader, spiritual partner, equal yolk, and sharpening tool. If you think I'm nagging, CHECK YOURSELF as a spiritual leader, then TALK WITH ME about our expectations in our marriage.

6. It's help MEET, not help MATE. Learn your Hebrew. : Women need to give up this "feminism" crap. I'm not created to be the same as a man. If I were created the same, there would be no purpose FOR man, and THAT is NOT what God intended. Also, Chruch, we're not a helpMATE, helper, companion, we're a help MEET. Help, in this sense is an Ezer. It's used 21 times in the KJV, and generally describes God as a savior to His people in war. Kenegdo is only used ONCE. One time. In the Bible. And it is to describe Eve/woman/wife. We are special. Unique. NOT men. Stop trying to be them and embrace who God made YOU to be.

7. Last one, I promise...WOMEN, GET OVER IT : So, I'm reading about women in the Bible, and I'm reading about women's roles and attitudes, and what not, and I come across Proverbs 31. I've read it before, I've quoted it before. Read it real quick. It'll take 5 minutes. Now, please note who helps her through the field buying and oil lamp using and clothing of her household.....wait for it.....NO ONE. She just does it. it's her job. Her husband, if you notice, is NOT WITH HER. Your job....MY JOB....is to submit to my husband REGARDLESS of if I feel loved, if my husband performs as the spiritual head, or if I want to.

One nation under God

You know those moments you have with you kids where you just feel so incredibly blessed that you are the one God trusted with that tiny person?  The conversations where you share and explain something deep and important to them are amazing to me.  I cherish those opportunities.  

One of those came about yesterday.  Siri was getting ready for her day, and put her right hand over her heart.  She slowly and carefully recited the Pledge of Allegiance.  I watched her with a lump in my throat.  What a beautiful site.

"Sweetheart, that was amazing!  I'm so glad you learned that!"  I starting things off on a positive not.  "Thanks mommy", no biggie to her.  "Honey, do you know what that means? I mean, when you say it, do you know what you're saying?"

Her hand went to her hip, her head tilted and her eyes rolled.  "It means..." in a very matter of fact tone, "that God is invisible.   Duh, Mom."

My bad.

Happy 4TH!

Me:  Gannon, stop picking your nose!

Gannon:  Mom, why did God make our fingers fit in our nose and ears just right if we aren't supposed to pick them?

Honestly, I got nothing....

Comments Appreciated! 

Man of Steel...

I missed Wordless Wednesday, so here it is....

Ephesians 4:29

Every parent has one of those moments.   The one where that not so "wholesome thing" comes out of your mouth?  Had one?  I did.  I've paid for it every day since.  I was a sailor, so I come by it naturally, but Ephesians 4:29 has weighed heavy on me to be more considerate of what I am saying.  This was ONE EPIC FAIL.  I said the "S" word.  Loudly.  I can't remember the reference, but it was said.  In front of Gannon.  Well, you can imagine how that went.  I tried to repent to him.  He didn't understand but thought the word was basically hilarious.  Then he though it meant hurricane, so every time it rained, it was "$#!#"ing.  GRRRRRRR.  We talked.  We prayed.  We discussed Ephesians 4:29.

Things were under control.  Until last night.

We had the pleasure of Jacob and Jenna Walkers company for dinner.  They were explaining their band "Davy & Amelia" and I asked what kind of "shiN dig" it was going to be.  LAWD MERCY.  He thought I said the forbidden word, and he called me on it.

"YOU SAID THAT WORD $#!# , MOM!!!!!  YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT WORD $#!#!!!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT $#!# WORD IS A BAD WORD??!?!?! $#!# IS NOT A WORD YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY!!!!

Unfortunately, we were all laughing too hard to do anything about it.......

Ephesians 4:29

New International Version (NIV)

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

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Maternity Ward

Pregnancy is a time of joy for a woman.  There is anticipation of new life, excitement, tiny outfits, and blankets.  When I was pregnant with Gannon, my first, I was thrilled.  My husband touched my belly to feel his son move, we got the nursery ready, and we had joy.
My pregnancy with Siri was similar.  We had total joy without reservation, trusting that everything would be OK, and they were.  She was perfect.
After Siri, we suffered a loss early in pregnancy.  I was shaken more than Gordon was, but it was early, and we knew that 50% of pregnancies end in early loss, but we trusted God and tried again.
Our early loss was in July of 2010.  Things went down hill horrifically from there.  We had a second trimester loss of a little boy which was devastating from start to finish, but I won't bore you with those details.  This is about the things Gannon has said and done.
After that loss, we became pregnant again, February 2011.  We were seeing a terrific group of midwives, a dynamite perinatologist, but had fear.  Pregnancy isn't supposed to revolve around fear.  For our peace of mind, we rented a Doppler heart rate monitor so that we could check for life on a daily basis.  This is not how you are supposed to experience pregnancy.
March 31, we went and saw our specialist.  20 weeks, and it was a boy and he was doing beautifully!  We named him Seth after Genesis 4:25.
Gannon was thrilled to be a brother!  He was planning how to decorate his bedroom.  June 2nd, the planning stopped.  There was no heart beat.  We looked everywhere over my swollen belly for the sound of that sweet cadence, but there was nothing.  We called the midwives, checked into the hospital at at 7:35 on June 3rd, I delivered our beautiful, sweet baby, born sleeping.

I was devastated.  My heart literally broke.  Gordon didn't know what to do with me, or his grief since I left him to deal with the other kids.  There is nothing to do with a woman who goes to the hospital to have a baby and leaves with a box.  Somehow, Gannon knew.
I know most of the things on this are silly, humorous things he had done, but I want to show you a side of that little boy that will give you a different perspective.

Gannon snuggled me, and snuggled me and snuggled me.  "Are you sad about baby Seth?' he would ask when I laid in bed crying.  "Don't cry, mommy!  You are beautiful!"  He prayed with me.  He prayed that we would see baby Seth in heaven, and he listed to Revelation Song, and he told me that our babies were in heaven with Jesus singing "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty!"  I understand that it is not the job of a little boy to be an emotional piller for a grown up, and I don't think he knew he was.  Gannon always knows the things to say that help me know there is still purity in the world.  That despite everything that is ugly, and hateful, and extreme, there is an innocent little boy that wants his mommy to be ok.

In reading about his quirky antics and his humerous pieces, his words are beautiful and healing as well. Thank you, Gannon, and happy 2nd heaven birthday, sweet baby Seth!


P.S. when baby Annika was born and Gannon got to meet his baby sister, the first the he said was "Is she breathing?"  What do you say to that!?!?!?!

And now for something completely different....

My kids normally take gymnastics.  They normally take them on Thursday nights if you remember from the "almost" post.  J&R Gymnastics has a great program for kinder (Siri's class) and for boys only (Gannon's class).  They were doing really well with it!  They liked their coaches, they like learning the skills....

...but the I listed to a sermon Pastor Zak.  DARN BIBLICAL TRUTHS!  He said that their family enjoys family time instead of extra curricular activities....and then I started thinking.  Anyone who knows me knows that is a dangerous thing.

I started noticing some patterns between Gordon and my tendency to be work-a-holics and our kids activities.  I saw gymnastics as our only extracurricular activity, but looking deeper into things, thats not the truth.  They go to church with Gordon and I two days a week to volunteer, they have school, playdates, homework, chores at home, summer vacations and more I'm sure I'm forgetting!

MY KIDS ARE OVERBOOKED!  

So I googled "are extracurricular activities bad?"

Here's what I found:

NO, they aren't, but too many are.  Check out this page from Psychology Today and tell me what you 
think. Here are a few snippits to get you started:

"Time to Play in a Natural, Creative Way
Unstructured play allows children to pursue their interests, express their personalities and learn how to structure their time. Play is the natural mode of learning for young children, but when their lives are dominated by adult-organized activities, there may be little time left to just be kids.

Family Relationships
Children need downtime with parents -- time to relax, talk, read, play games and just hang out. Families that are constantly running from one extracurricular activity to the next have little opportunity for these experiences. 

Why do we push so hard?
The truth is, most parents have good intentions. They enroll their children in activities because they want them to have a rich, happy childhood. They sacrifice their own time to make sure their children are at practices and competitions. Of course, these parents love their children, and the last thing they would want is for them to feel stressed."



Long story short, we quit gymnastics. I would LOVE to hear what you think about this, so leave comments. I know for us, roasting marshmallows and making S'Mores in the driveway beats gymnastics!

God, The Ocean, and Gannon

This weekend, I had the privilege to take my oldest daughter, Alia, to Corpus for the Beach to Bay Marathon Relay.

We had a BLAST.  We ran the 6th leg, which is the last to start.  That being, we had some extra time at the condo in the morning before we had to be at our start point.  We were standing on the balcony in the early morning, watching and listening to the ocean as the sun was starting to peak over the waves.  There is something really amazing about the ocean, isn't there?  It commands respect with its huge and awesome power.   I was telling Alia that one of my favorite memories of the ocean  is from when we lived in California.  Gannon was about 2 and his favorite word was "Alrighty!"  Don't ask me where he got it, but that is what he responded to every question.  Anyways, I started thinking that God gave us the ocean because we have a hard time fathoming how huge it is, how deep and powerful, and He is even bigger than THAT!  What a comparison! 

Well, our family took a trip to the coast.  We camped a lot, and a trip to the beach was involved every single time.  Gordon took this video of Gannon, and I think it completely encompasses what we should feel for God...JOY, overwhelming Joy, but a healthy fear and respect.  It just blows my mind that God gives us parallels like this. 

 Ladies and Gents, I give you Gannon and the Ocean...