The N Word. Kind Of.

Gannon has a Facebook.  He is (normally) very monitored.  Saturday night, I won Mom of the Year award for falling asleep while Gannon was on my computer.  Bad bad bad bad bad bad BAD idea.  

I didn't know right away that something had gone awry.

Headed into church on Sunday, a dear friend approached me.  "Did she respond?" she inquired.  I gave a rather blank look as I had NO idea who was responding to what.  

"T (we'll call her)!  Did she respond to Gannon's Facebook post?"

Gannon was no where to be seen.  Probably trying to download games on the "Giving Kiosk"  

Lord Mercy. 

 I started to sweat.  My face got red.  

This could not be good.  

I went for my phone. 

 I scrolled through Gannon's account.  Nothing incriminating.  A few Toby Mac references.

I went to T's account.  

I scrolled.  

And I found this post:

To which Gannon responded.....

We're still waiting to find out.

Banana Bread

Gannon loves to bake.  He also hates to sleep.  This can be a dangerous equation.  We've woken up to some very interesting messes, and some very unique recipes have been created in the wee hours in the Koenig home.
It had been some time since Gannon had tapped into his culinary juices.

2:00 AM
Gannon:  BurstS into the bedroom, using his inside voice.  His inside voice is LOUD.  "MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM!  WAKE UP, THE BANANA BREAD IS ALMOST READY!!!!"
Me:  Blurry eyed, but somehow wide awake, "What banana bread, Gannon?"
Gannon:  THE ONE I MADE YOU!  COME LOOK!
Me: Follows Gannon downstairs.  Finds the oven at 450* with this inside...

Yes, that is a plastic bowl.

On the positive side, he DID have most of the ingredients right, right? *Yawnnnnnnnnnn

Food Poisoning

Gordon has always had a hard time waking up.  A Really.  Hard.  Time.  We went through a four alarm clock stage, we went through the "Christmas Bells Alarm" phase, we've thought about getting a taser for wake ups!  There have been some interesting "the kids woke up but he didn't" moments in our lives.  Yesterday was one of those days.  I was at work and I got the text...

Gordon:  "I fell back asleep and woke up at 8:45...  Gannon was eating and feeding Annika the spaghetti that had been left on the table overnight..."

He went on to tell me how he had educated Gannon about food poisoning, especially with meat and dairy, and that he appreciated him taking care of his sister, but to be aware of the dangers of eating left out food.  Gannon was more than concerned for his sisters safety, apologized to Gordon for feeding her possibly contaminated food, and cleaned up the mess.  But Gannon doesn't just let things go.  Not that easily.  He ruminates and obsesses.  He over thinks.  He's also a bit of a hypochondriac.

Later that same day, I got this text....

Gordon: "Gannon just told me that " well, at least I didn't catch the food poison... But I did have skinny poop this morning, and THAT is not ordinary..."

Jesus Knows

This morning, Siri and I were getting all dolled up for church.  She demanded an "Elsa Braid".  That's a "Frozen" reference.  It seems like my life is a "Frozen" reference right now.  With her 5 year old fantastical whim for a princess life, it blows me away when she says things....I digress.  We were working on an Elsa Braid.  I was watching the amazing tutorial (click here for the instructions) on the Coronation hair style.  Siri was supposed to be still so I could manipulate her very long hair for optimal results.
This gave her time to think.
Siri thinking is sometimes worrisome.
Here's how it went...

"Mom, you know when you cover yourself with Ketchup, and act like you're dead.....yah, Jesus knows.  He knows you aren't really dead.  Yup.  Jesus knows......"

The braid turned out nicely.  If you'd like to donate to the "Siri and her Family Need Therapy Fund", please comment below.

"Disturbing things my kids say"

Outside the hospital tonight, Siri stumbled across a neat little thing...

Siri: Oh look!  A little baby birds nest that baby birds made!

Gannon:  No, Siri, its a sea urchin.  On a stick.

Siri:  I bet they mad it when they were little babies.  Awwww, how cute!

Gannon:  Nope.  Sea Urchin stuck with a stick in its tummy.

Siri:  I wish we could set it on fire.....

I'm not going to lie, I worry about that one.

French Underwear

Psy has been a quasi-member of our family ever since "Gangnam Style" came out.  We weren't huge fans of the song with its reference to "hey sexy lady" and deterred Gannon from it.  Since then, there have been several attempts by Gannon to understand the word "Sexy".  With the acquisition of his new tablet for Christmas, his world of exploration has broadened.  Today, while sitting on the floor of our hotel, wearing goggles and a night shirt, he found the answer.
"Sexy", Gannon began our education, "means you wear French Underwear."
Thank You Google.

You can call me Green Bean

We do a lot of non-traditional "churchy" church songs at Revolution Church.  Recently, PZ did a series called "Royal".  You can guess which song we used as our lead in....That's it!  Royals by Lorde.  We rocked it in many styles.  I digress.
Gannon had the opportunity to listen to it many many many times, and over time, he learned the lyrics.  You may think you know them, but I assure you, you don't know the Gannon version.  Here Goes:

I've never seen a diamond in a fish

I cut my teeth on wedding rings, in the movies.

And I'm not proud of my address

in a torn up town

concerendie

all all my friend go like

gold teeth tigers, tripping in the bathroom

trashing hotel rooms

I don't care, we are driving Cadillacs in our dreams

Driving helicopters begging for money

Taking away hobo clothes, pretending like we are him.

And we'll never be royal! Royal!

It's not in our blood, that kind of love just aint for us, 

We crave a different kind of blood

Let me be your ruler, RULER!

You can call me Green Bean.

Let me live like fantasy.

That is the whole song, according to Gannon.  Thanks, Lorde and Rev for that.Watch it Here

Honestly

The honesty of children never ceases to amaze me.  This morning as we are preparing for Annika's first birthday party, Gannon and Siri were talking at the breakfast table.
Gannon: Siri, you look funny.
Siri: What?!  You don't have any right to say I look funny!  I don't look funny, I look cute!  This outfit is Cute!
Gannon: No, no, you look funny because you have snot coming out of your nose.
Siri: HRUMPH!

Fired

As heard from upstairs:

Gannon: SIRI, If you don't get in here right now, I'm going to fire you from helping me clean my room!

Siri: mumble mumble mumble, UGH!

Gannon: MOM!  SIRI JUST FIRED ME FROM PLAYING WITH HER, AND NOW SHE FIRED ME FROM LOVING HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Siri: *Sweetly sings song in background.

Hump Day

I was hoping for a nice kids in bed early night.  We had mac-n-cheese for dinner, everyone had a bath, teeth brushed, and into bed.  SCORE.  I settled down in the living room, looking at memes with our dear friends Jenifer and Christian when we heard a noise...

"EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!  EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We sat puzzled for a moment, wondering where the noise was coming from.
It continued.  We ventured out the front door.
We looked around, perplexed.

"EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!  HAVE YOU SEEN MY DAD!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

Gannon.  Screaming out his window.  To no one.

"HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  HUMP DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Mystery Solved.

I'm Leaving on an Airplane

What would happen if a capuchin monkey were to board an aircraft and fly halfway across the United States without a handler?
Southwest Airlines got a close taste when Gannon, in his glorious 7 years of wisdom and knowledge, boarded a few Tuesdays ago for a week long visit with his California Grandparents.

I was ENORMOUSLY scared for my little guy.  Yes, yes, I know that kids fly all the time and that RARELY things go wrong.  I knew I was going to be a train wreck regardless, so I took my fabulous friend Sharee with me to help calm my nerves, re-assure me, you know, be a friend.  

The drive to the airport was .......loooooooonnnnnnnggggggg.  We always joke about "are we there yet", but I had never actually encountered it.

G: "How much longer do we have to drive?"

M: "Well, we left about 15 minutes ago, so 45 more minutes."

G:  "How 'bout now?  Now how much longer?"

M: "Honey, it's only been 3 minutes, so 42 minutes left."

G: "Now?!?!?!"

M: "41 minutes."

This went on for the e.n.t.i.r.e. trip.

When we got to the airport we got his boarding passes (he stood on the luggage scale, then zeroed it for them.  What a helper), went through security (he wondered out loud why a grown man was kicking his bag through the line.  That was poor stewardship), and found his gate.

I was kissing and hugging him, and telling him to pray for the flight, the ground crew, and for his mommy.  I was loving on him, already anticipatorily missing him

"I'm sorry I choosed to go, Mommy.  I'll miss you very much." he said, reassuring me.  He felt he needed to keep going.  "And I shouldn't say the word BOMB, right?!?!?!"

I gave up after that.

I prayed, I cried, I had some wine.

At 1045pm, I got the call.  HE LANDED and was OK!  Thankfully the flight attendant did not let him order a Bud Light per his request, and as it turns out, "Strangers aren't scary!  They are REALLY nice!"

Ice Sculpture

Gannon froze a chunk of ice in a plastic cup in the freezer.

He wanted to make an ice sculpture with it.

He wanted to use a butter knife.
He said "Just with a butter knife"

I said No.

"WHAT?!?!?!  WHY NOT?"

No knives, I replied.

"But I'm allowed to use butter knives!"

"For food, not carving."

"Then I will use a spoon.  Spoons aren't sharp.  And I will make my ice sculpture.  So there."

Happy 4TH!

Me:  Gannon, stop picking your nose!

Gannon:  Mom, why did God make our fingers fit in our nose and ears just right if we aren't supposed to pick them?

Honestly, I got nothing....

Comments Appreciated! 

Subway

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Everyone enjoys a Subway sandwich every once in a while...some more than others (Jarod?).  Yesterday, our good friend Jordan celebrated his last day in SATX with us at, you guessed it, Subway.

I've never in my life had an exciting trip to Subway.  It's always been fairly benign.  Maybe once an unexpected pepper found its way into my meal, but thats the extent of the excitement for me.

Until Yesterday...

Somehow the Koenig Kids have an adventure everywhere they go.

It all started with a power chair.

Siri had to use the restroom.  Unfortunately, she was horribly distracted by a red power chair and its occupant.  They (chair and occupant) were in line for food.  Have you ever noticed that when children say something embarrassing, they are louder than normal?  AND, the volume tends to raise a few decibels when in a VERY public place.  And they sometimes point.  No, they almost always point.

"MOMMY, THERE IS A CAR IN HERE!  WHY DID SOMEONE DRIVE THEIR CAR IN HERE!  CARS DON'T GO IN RESTAURANTS!"

Jordan, his lovely girlfriend Cassie, Gordon and I turned red.  We giggled to hide our embarrassment.  We re-directed Siri and moved on with life.

Until the man with the power chair parked.  Right next to us.

Que Gannon.

"DOES THAT MAN HAVE ONLY ONE LEG?  WHY DOES HE HAVE ONLY ONE LEG?  WHY DOES HE NEED A CHAIR?  DOES IT HAVE A HORN?"

There was a moment of horrible embarrassment, then a good two minutes trying to hush Gannon, and explain different reasons a person might need a chair.

"HE SHOULD GET A METAL LEG!  THEN HE WOULDN'T NEED THE CHAIR ANYMORE!  THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!!!!"

What a little problem solver.

Fortunately among the embarrassment, laughter, tears, and explanation, the man was gracious enough to show the kids his chair, explain why he only had one leg, and even let the kids honk the horn.

On Broadway

Today, my dear friend Cristy, our friend Danna, and I, along with a 3, 4 and 5 year old, went to see Beauty and the Beast Jr.  What a fabulous show!  The kids all did a great job, and of course the girls loved sitting so close to a real live princess.  After the play was over, they begged to meet Bell in person.  It was our great luck that she was in the hall, greeting loyal subjects!  HOORAY!
Thinking it would be fun for a Broadway like experience, I pulled out the playbill and three pens, then explained to the girls what an "autograph" was.  Everyone was jazzed!

After we got the photo op of the year, the girls pulled out their programs and pens.  They waited to patiently for their Princess to sign...but somehow, Siri missed the point of the exercise...

As our friends had their bill autographed, Siri stood to the side.  When I inquired as to what she was doing, and instructed her to give her program to the princess, she hesitated.  Like any good princess would, Bell offered her assistance.

"Here, give me the paper and I'll write my name in it!"  She knew how to woo a fan.  Siri was fast to respond "No, no, its ok.  I already know how to write my name."

And so, Siri autographed her own playbill.

Bell never had a chance against Princess Siri.

Circus

In the bathtub-
Me -  "Gannon, stop splashing!"
Gannon - "I'm not splashing...I'm juggling water!"
DOH!

Man of Steel...

I missed Wordless Wednesday, so here it is....

Ephesians 4:29

Every parent has one of those moments.   The one where that not so "wholesome thing" comes out of your mouth?  Had one?  I did.  I've paid for it every day since.  I was a sailor, so I come by it naturally, but Ephesians 4:29 has weighed heavy on me to be more considerate of what I am saying.  This was ONE EPIC FAIL.  I said the "S" word.  Loudly.  I can't remember the reference, but it was said.  In front of Gannon.  Well, you can imagine how that went.  I tried to repent to him.  He didn't understand but thought the word was basically hilarious.  Then he though it meant hurricane, so every time it rained, it was "$#!#"ing.  GRRRRRRR.  We talked.  We prayed.  We discussed Ephesians 4:29.

Things were under control.  Until last night.

We had the pleasure of Jacob and Jenna Walkers company for dinner.  They were explaining their band "Davy & Amelia" and I asked what kind of "shiN dig" it was going to be.  LAWD MERCY.  He thought I said the forbidden word, and he called me on it.

"YOU SAID THAT WORD $#!# , MOM!!!!!  YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT WORD $#!#!!!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT $#!# WORD IS A BAD WORD??!?!?! $#!# IS NOT A WORD YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY!!!!

Unfortunately, we were all laughing too hard to do anything about it.......

Ephesians 4:29

New International Version (NIV)

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

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Gannon crashes

I've had quiet a few requests for this little gem.   Gannon was about 2 when it was taken and I had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! !!!!!

Mobile followers,  I've included a link to YouTube for you since your device won't support flash....

Here ya go!

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sqBdRjtUY6s

Gannon Koenig, MD

This. week, I found myself in a precarious situation. I was a patient on my own unit in the hospital. Gannon has always had a strong desire to take care of me. In the process of him taking care of me this week, I believe we may have found his future Calling in the medical field.
1) after taking my temperature with the ear thermometer he looked up and said "108 Fahrenheit. See, mommy, you're not even sick!" (it was not 108*F, btw)
2)  upon seen my ekg on the box monitor in the room "Oh No, your heart beat is going up and down!   You're probably going to die" (I did not.  It was a normal EKG)
3)  I called home to talk to the kids.  Alia answers and says "Gannon,  it's mommy! "  Gannon "IS SHE DEAD!?!"(Well, since I was calling...and am now blogging this, I'll let you make that leap.)