My family comes under scrutiny at times. We aren't super conventional. We go about things a different way. My mother has told me "we live in our own little world", and I have to agree with her accuracy. We live in a different world. We live in a world of accountability. We live in a world of responsibility. We live in a world of failure, and failure being ok. We do this because there is power in the struggle.
My kids don't have everything they want. They share rooms. This is unfair and unjust, I hear. They "need" their space. They are "entitled" to privacy. I STRONGLY disagree. I can't think of a time in their lives when they won't have to share space. They will have room mates in college, or a lot of room mates if they choose to join the military. Then they will have house mates while they figure life out. Ultimately, they will probably have a spouse and kids. There is no privacy. there is no space. There is coping and shifting. There is struggle with relationship and communication. There is power in the struggle.
Gannon doesn't have a phone. At seven years old, he doesn't have a phone. This is unfair and unjust, I hear. He "needs" to be able to communicate. "Times are changing" I hear. Times aren't changing so much that my seven year old needs a phone. Where in the world is he going to be, at seven years old, that an adult with a phone won't be within arms distance? Why do I wan't to text my seven year old son at school? I'm supposed to be at work, and he's supposed to be learning, NOT on his phone. No phone means talking, board games, art projects, trampolines, and being different. Different is a struggle, but there is POWER in the struggle.
My kids don't get paid for chores. This is unfair and unjust, I hear. I don't get paid for my chores. No one hands me a five dollar bill and tells me what a good job I've done when the electricity stays on every month. I don't get a pat on the back when there is breakfast food available. When my kids don't get their chores done, they are yelled at. What do you think happens if the electricity is disconnected, or there isn't food? No one would say, "It's ok. I know how busy you are. We'll get it back on in the next few days...." Chores are a struggle, and discipline is a struggle. Working together to make the house run smoothly as a family is a STRUGGLE, but there is POWER in the struggle!
My parents taught me that I don't need the best of the best of the best, SIR. My parents taught me to work for what I have, to trust God and do the right thing. They also taught me that even then, there is struggle. Life isn't fair. It isn't right sometimes (and there is a difference between fair and right). My parents taught me that money isn't everything, and that failure is inevitable and OK. My parents taught me that it isn't the NUMBER of friends, but the QUALITY of friends that counts. My kids don't have playdates every day. Their biggest struggle is in our family relationship, but there is SO much POWER in that STRUGGLE!
If a butterfly doesn't struggle out of its cocoon, it will be a wet slop of an insect that can't fly on it's own. That butterfly is the 24 year old kid that can't pay their own cell phone bill because their parents have always done that for them. That butterfly will never be appreciated for the beauty of its color, because that butterflies wings are underdeveloped. They probably believe that they are ENTITLED to fly, that it is their RIGHT.
I SAY NO!
Struggle through the hard times, and when you need to fly, you will and it will be breath taking and beautiful. Struggle through and you will have success. Not in everything, but you will have success. You will have independence. You will have an identity outside of me.
Alia, Gannon, Siri and Annika, I love you enough to let you struggle...because you need to be able to fly on your own. My beautiful beautiful children, there is POWER in your struggle!
