From the husband perspective...

This weekend I was in Corpus for a run with my oldest and some friends.  While I was gone, Gordon was in charge of the three little ones.  This is a quick piece that he encountered with Siri.  Hey, got to mix things up occasionally....

"Was laying on the sidewalk looking at the moon with Siri. She gets up and asks "dad, do you need help getting up"? So, of course, I say yes expecting to engage in the ever fun game of trying to pull dad up. 

Instead, she says "ok, just watch me dad", and then proceeds to lay back down and give me a step by step tutorial on how to get up! 

You can give a man a fish...."

Almost

There is an epidemic in our house. It started out as an occasional occurrence, but the roots took hold and it has sprung into a terrible over grown garden of the "Almost".  Some families have outbreaks of "just a sec" or "hold on", but our people grew the "Almost".  The "almost "can apply to any number of situations ie: my room is "almost " clean, my  chores are "almost" done, I'm "almost" finished with my homework...You can apply it to whatever you like really.  When the question is posed to one of the minions in our home "is your -fill in the blank- done", it is with near certainty the answer will be, you guessed it,  "almost".
This ambiguity to completion has served the kids well, but has worn on me for some time.   I try my hardest to teach pride in ownership,  good stewardship,  investment in the family unit,  and it really feels as if the "almost" is poisoning those values!!!! Ugh!!!!!!
I tried everything to destroy the "almost".  I tried counting back from 5, I tried time outs,  I tried talks about the things God expects of us through obedience and honor.   I guess I could say it "almost" worked.
Despiration.  The "almost" was winning.   Any of you mommies know that despirate, beaten down mommies are some of the most creative,  tenacious people in the world.   Tell a mommy it can't be done.   I dare you.   So I revved the engines of my creativity. 
It was a Thursday when the solution occurred to me.  
Thursday is gymnastics day.   Kids come home from school,  "almost" get their homework and chores done,  dress for their event and load up in the van for a  Chick-Fil-A dinner before gymnastics.   It is the highlight of the week!  Chick-Fil-A is a mecca of fast food for the Koenig kids.   Chicken nuggets, waffle fries and chocolate milk will line the streets of Heaven in their mind.
So we go through our home routine.  Everything is "almost" done when we leave the house.  So we drive.  We drive the 20 minutes it takes to get to Chick-Fil-A.  We wait anxiously to pull into the parking lot.  We turn in and drive to the back of the parking lot where we exit and drive to the gymnastics studio.  Horror errupts in thr van  "You Missed It!" the little voices cry,  "Mommy, you didn't stop!"  They are distraught.  Poor things.  I finally decide an  explination is deserved. 
"Wasn't that fun guys????" I enthusiastically reply. 
"Wasn't WHAT fun?"  They are clearly confused. 
"Our  "almost" trip to Chick-Fil-A"....
Ahhhhhh...suddenly everything is clear.
The "almost" lost.

Matthew 9:20

Gannon has made a lot of steps towards spiritual maturity in the past few months.  Less than a year ago, he decided that "Jesus is his #1 Guy" and he wanted to be with Him in heaven.  As parents, obviously we were elated.  We prayed with him, talked to him, and then just a few weeks ago, I had the total privilege of seeing my husband baptize my son.  PRAISE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since then, the boy has been very interested in the stories in the Bible that are less familiar to him.  Today in the car, he asked if there were any stories of  "bleeders".  Before you start judging me, keep in mind he IS a 7 year old boy and blood is basically awesome, and his mom is a nurse, so we don't gross out easily.  Well, the only story I could think of was Matthew 9:20, about the woman who was bleeding for a long time and had spent all her money on being healed.  He was quiet for most of the way to school, presumably reading the story.  Nothing wrong with this.  I'm actually excited that my kid is exploring God's word!  Nothing was wrong till 7:49 am.  That is when I got the text.  The text from Gannons first grade teacher.

The entire first grade class.

Yup.

Sarcasm

You know that ecard about sarcasm?  

Yah, that one.  Well, sarcasm is the national language of the Koenig home,and Gordon and I have mastered it.  Sometime we can't tell if we are being stupid or sarcastic....

IN OUR OWN HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IN any case, we use sarcasm liberally, but we've never had to explain it to the kids because kids learn the language they are spoken to, right?  Like kids in France speak French, kids in south Texas speak TexMex, Kids in Canada speak...whatever Canadians speak, the Koenig kids speak sarcasm.  

This leads me to some awesome interaction time with Gannon.  He and I were plugging along in the car, and he was folding things he could find.  Backing up, Gannon has ADHD and Aspergers, and currently we fold everything we see.  He comes home and his homework is folded, his napkin from lunch is folded, and I recently found out he stops by the secretary at the front of the school and requests extra paper, just so he has things to fold on the bus!  

On this particular day, he took my pay check stub and folded off the perforation and was folding them into the little paper designs you make when you fold the edges of paper over themselves.  I looked over and in the language of my people I said "Good Job, Gannon!"  He stopped what he was doing and looked at me.  Now, with Aspergers, this is a BIG flippin deal.  He does not stop and he does not look, so I knew  this was going to be important.  I waited.  

"Mom, were you sarcastic?"  I didn't know he knew what it meant!  I had taken for granted for so long that we speak sarcasm that we never really explained what it was!  "How do you know that word?" I questioned him.  "I just know it," he replied.  "Do you know what that word means?"  I really wanted to know!  "Yes" he replied...

"It means when a grown up tells you 'Good Job', but you actually screwed it all up".

Photo Shoot

So, I know the kids have a lot of "moments", but I wanted to add some of these pictures done by the AMAZING Jenna Walker to give a face to some of the names....

Shopping with Aspergers....

Today was one of those days...you know the kind, where its 7pm and I'm still in yoga pants and a snot smeared tank top...yup.  It was pizza for dinner.
Well, things started this morning with waking up and missing Gannon's bus.  I got him ready super fast and threw the girls in the van in pj's.  On their way to their seats in the van, someone (not sure who), tripped on and spilled a "to go" box from Logan's Roadhouse, spilling macaroni and cheese and steak tips all over Gannon's wet jeans shorts which were all left over from yesterday.  Failure #1.  We rolled up to school and parked.  I was ready to take him in just in time for a snot fest from G man himself.  He sneezed about 7 times.  Fortunately, I had his shirt from yesterday handy and since it was already trashed with nacho cheese Doritos gunk, it was an acceptable hankie.  No issue.  Until he started puking on himself from sneezing so much.  I had already chucked the shirt.  Fail #2.  Back home we go.
Long story short, we decided to use the three gift cards he got for his birthday to occupy his sick day.  Online shopping with a sick kid with aspergers and ADHD.  Fail #3.  To add insult to injury, I hadn't finished my morning coffee yet.  Well, if you know anything about Gannon's impassivity, you know Amazon.com (thank you Grandma Linda for the gift card!) is a...well...I don't even know.  After many attempts of just "looking around" (I might be deaf in one ear from the I WANT THAT's and THAT ONE MOM, THAT ONE's), I had him make a list of the things he wanted most.  Here they are....the things Gannon wants most.  I love this kid.  They are, in order:

1.  give dragon (the voice recognition system for computers.  He doesn't have a computer)
2.  Remote control
3.  Bablade (2 & 3 go together)
3.  Phone
4.  Computer
5.  Siccors
6.  iPad
7.  Craft
8.  Stuff (7&8 go together)
9.  TV
10.  Clock
11.  Remote control clock
12.  Table
13.  Candle
14.  Bathroom (really?  a bathroom?!?!?!)
tab (not numbered)
15.  Scarf
16.  New Shoes

Yesterday we were sitting at the dinner table, and Gannon and Siri were eating Cheerios for dinner, because that's the kind of mom I am.  Frankly, I was too tired and busy to cook something they were only going to complain about.  So Cheerios it was.  They were eating their mix of Banana Nut and Peanut Butter Cheerios, Siri's with milk, Gannon's with milk on the side (in a cup).  He still eats the Cheerios out of the bowl with a spoon.  I don't try to understand.  Gannon had been talking about how much he loved the Annoying Orange (we hate it), and Siri was copying him with a very obnoxious sound that is a throaty, almost gutteral "bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh...".  Watch Annoying Orange for about 5 seconds, and you will become painfully familiar with the sound.  At first, Gannon found it quite amusing that his sister was copying him, and laughed.  As moments went by, however, he gained a more adult understanding of the nails on a chalk board effect that sound has.  He asked her to stop several time...
"Stop Siri.......Siri, Stop!  PLEASE Stop Siri, that is just TOO annoying...."
Finally, he looked at me with pleading in his eyes (keep in mind the "bleh bleh bleh" is going on in the background) and says...
"Mom, Siri is being annoying.  Please attack her."
I did not attack her.  But the noise did stop.