Pee and Boogers

Annika is a fairly cute 2 year old.  She's strong willed, articulate, and passionate.  She's been dubbed "the dictator" by the older two for her finger pointing-firm speaking, which she adamantly denies participating in.  She's stubborn.  OOOOOooooooohhhhhh is she stubborn.

Potty training has been a beast.  Her vehement denial of using a bathroom or pull ups left me damp and crying more than once.  This was one of those times.

Participating in team building has been an important...no...essential portion of campus transition.  I'm a school nurse.  That's my full time gig.  I still dabble at the hospital on weekends and holidays, but school is what I love most.  Moving from high school to elementary has proved interesting.  Pregnancy scares, fights, STD's, and illicit drugs have been replaced by anaphylactic peanut reactions and lost teeth.  Getting to know my admin team is imperative to effective communication for the well being of the campus.  

Tonight, we met for team building at a local taco joint.  I got the kids bean and cheese tacos and threw quarters at them to keep them quiet on the claw machine so I could enjoy a few quiet minutes over nachos and a beverage.  None the less, they made their every-3-minute rounds to make sure I knew Gannon had a drink of Siri's soda, or that Annika was playing the claw machine with Gannon's quarters, or that someone had dumped an entire salt shaker out and was licking it off the table (it was Annika).  Thanks for the report, guys.  I didn't previously realize your in insatiable love for micro-justice.  News to me.  I'll get right on the micromanagement of your lives in a booth of a taco joint.  Because you can't self-regulate for 3 freaking minutes.  Seriously.

I finally had Gannon and Siri zoning mindlessly over a game of "Equestria Girls" on my phone, and had Annika on my lap.  Straw to lips.....driiiiinnnnnnkkkkkkkk. Then, mid sarcastic joke about having too many kids to my vice principal, I felt warm.  Warm and damp.  Then dripping in my shoe.  SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?!?  I GAVE HER QUARTERS TO BE GOOD.  And she peed on my leg.  Great.

I realized in that moment, that this is what being a mom is.  It's sitting with a plat of nachos, a strawberry frozen beverage, and my vice-boss, in a puddle of urine, and acting like it's totally normal.  Shoes.  For the love of God, why isn't she wearing shoes.  "Get your shoes, please, it's time to go home and take a bath."

Home we go.  It's going to be better at home.  We'll have baths, watch a quick show, and fall asleep to be ready bright and early for the Friday of a three day weekend.  The thought was a shadow as I laid in bed with Annika screaming in my left ear that her nose hurts, as Gannon cries in my right ear that he "really really really didn't mean to get his blanket stuck in his ceiling fan".

"Gannon, sit down and be quiet.  Did you turn your fan off?"  Thankfully, over zealous to please Siri is on top of turning off the fan.  "Annika, blow into the napkin so you're nose won't hurt."  *blow* "Oh for the love.  What is that.  Is that a bead?!?!?!"

I'm ready for another drink.